Last week, I stood in front of an audience of a few hundred agents from across the US and shared my thoughts about “The Four Things I Do Every Year to Set Myself Up for Success.” To be honest, just before I ran up on stage, I thought to myself, “What the fuck do I know, and why on earth would anyone want to hear from me”? Anyway...
My motivation to speak at this event was to share some of my experiences so that my peers in the industry could avoid some of the mistakes I’d made and implement some of the things that had worked for me in the past. Based on the feedback I received, my talk resonated. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t trying to sell them anything; I wanted to connect and be brutally honest about the challenges we all face every day in our business. Both personally and professionally. Brokerage is a lonely business with a few highs and lots of lows. It takes a specific type of mental toughness and fortitude to succeed in this business year after year. We get knocked to the canvas when we least expect it, and how we get up (and why) defines our success. We may all measure success differently, but there is a commonality in how most of us would like to be treated and valued.
One of the four topics I discussed was the need for people to “structure time for unstructured thought .”(I did a Ted Talk on this subject a few years ago). I firmly believe that reflecting on the past is crucial to laying the groundwork for where you want to go.
A few days after my talk, I was invited to attend a luncheon where the guest panelist was an impressive young man building a powerhouse national brokerage business. He is a force to be reckoned with, for sure. He’s made generational wealth (his words) but still gets into the office at 5.30am and leaves at 8pm. The company’s mantra is that there are better places to work if you want a live-work balance. His company is a place to buckle down and work, work, work. And when you are done working, you work some more. His agents are expected to make 500 cold calls a week, and there’s no time or place for anything other than complete devotion to winning listings, closing deals, and making $$$. There’s no structured time for unstructured thought.
The same week, I talked to brokers about taking time off, he spoke to brokers about (almost) never sleeping.
Two vastly different ideologies.
This week, specifically today, has me thinking about my priorities, personal journey, and the path ahead. Today is my late mother’s birthday. It’s weird even writing that. It seems so final. In the Jewish religion, the tradition is to light a candle on the date she passed away. I do that, but I also light a candle on her birthday. I’d rather remember her on the day she was born and how she lived than the day she died.
So, how did my mother live? She was fierce. She hustled – because she had to. She had three children to single-handedly care for in a time and place when every odd (and law) was stacked against her. If she hadn’t come up with a plan, she would have lost the things that were most important to her. Me and my two sisters. I learned my work ethic, hustle, and survival skills from her.
I don’t think she paused for the first 50 years of her life. She always tried to catch up so my sisters and I didn’t have to. Only later in her life, when she was utterly exhausted and could lean on us, did she have time to reflect; those were her best years.
I still reach for the phone to call her every day. Old habits die hard. Today, I’d love to call her and sing her happy birthday (or play it on the sax, like she loved to hear it).
Side Bar:
Today, I’ll not make some cold calls while I PAUSE – to listen to one of my and my mother’s favorite albums. “Chet Baker Sings”.
Let’s do this (and Happy Birthday, Mom).
-Shaun