Next week is my 57th trip around the sun. That seems wild just writing that out. I still feel 25 – most days. For everyone, there is that point when you look in the mirror, and the person you see is not who you feel or think you are. I remember catching a glimpse of myself a few months back, and I thought, Who is that guy? When did he get gray hair? Why does he look so fucking tired?
For men, aging is more of a jarring experience. We are terrible about paying attention to our bodies – which is why we die earlier. On the flip side, women’s bodies constantly change throughout their lives; therefore, they are much more in tune with the evolution of aging. For women, aging is more like a roller coaster; for men, it’s more like getting hit by a Mack truck.
Until recently, taking care of your body was an afterthought for men. You went one of two ways. You did nothing, got out of shape and stuck on the couch, or continued to work out like you were 25, got injured, and then got stuck on the couch.
I was a part of the latter group. For 20 years, my daily morning workouts did not change. I did HIIT workouts or took cycling classes that I’d kill myself to win. Last March, after one of these workouts, I came home barely able to walk. I hobbled into the house with an injured knee, proudly telling my wife I had won! She looked at my broken body and asked, “What exactly did you win? And will your winnings pay for your wheelchair?”
Now, unless it’s about Alabama football, my wife is not competitive about anything. Our brains are wired differently, so she wasn’t going to understand the importance of my winning a Peloton class. And in true Osher form, I went right back to my burpees, bear crawls, sled pushes, and trying to win cycling classes. If you ignore the pain, it eventually goes away, right?
Wrong!
Saturday, I couldn’t walk. What worked before was not working now. I wasn’t bouncing back. I was sidelined for months.
This hit me hard – in every way possible. I was worn out – across the board.
Physically, I had had a torn MCL and had a bone chip floating around my knee. I have always been able to dig deep and recharge my whole life, but this time, there was nothing left. Somehow, I’d become this old man in the mirror with a fucked up knee and was completely burned out. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have an answer on how to move on.
Mentally, I was toast. The stress of running a business and dealing with the soul-crushing aspects of this industry was taking its toll. I couldn’t dig deep. My shovel was broken, and the ground had no more to give.
Spiritually, the pain of the continued struggles for Jewish people was just a reminder that my daughters would not escape the hostility that their great-grandparents died to protect them from. For the first time, I couldn’t look at them and promise they would be safe.
And emotionally, the mental, physical, and spiritual struggles drove me to lows I didn’t know how to get out of. The well that housed my Mojo was empty.
Then, inspiration came from the most unlikely source. A response from a Pakos subscriber who directed me to a video of Jocko Willink’s. In the video, he basically says that when shit happens to you, your immediate response should be to say, “Good.”
GOOD!
Good has a lot of different meanings. Good, I learned something new. Good, this was a great realization. Good, I should have listened to my gut and walked away earlier. Good, this allows me to find a better way. Good, this presents a new opportunity.
So, I started applying this to all parts of my life.
Good – my workouts weren’t serving this body anymore. I found better ones and am now fitter and healthier than before.
Good – I was mentally drained by the bad characters in this business; I am not working with them anymore. I will find better clients – and I have.
Good – I was worried about my girls’ future, and I still am, but I know we are raising two beautiful, strong Jewish women who will continue to persevere just as their ancestors did before them.
Good – I was so emotionally drained I had nothing left for anyone, but I know that I am so fortunate that I know if all else fails me, I am lucky beyond words to have a loving, supportive family and my saxophone – and that is all I really need.
So, with this 57th trip around the sun coming up on Wednesday, I say GOOD! With age, I have learned so much and have so much still to learn, but at the end of the day, I look in the mirror now and say – You are one lucky man, Shaun Osher.
Let’s do this.
Side Bar:
Here’s Jocko’s video – (and thank you, Jesse, for reminding me about this).